


2.35 Miles

by JourneysBeginning



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Jealous Bucky Barnes, One Shot, Protective Bucky Barnes, Reader is indecisive, Reader-Insert, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 19:18:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8069569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JourneysBeginning/pseuds/JourneysBeginning
Summary: Y/N is engaged to Bucky after three years of dating. Everything goes smoothly until Bucky gets jealous at a party.***He's done this before, claiming the same reason: They were getting too close, Y/N."Just because your jealousy gets the best of you doesn't mean you can go around hitting people."***





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys. ^.^ I'm sorry if this is a little short. I was debating whether this should be a one-shot or a four chapter fic, but I've chosen to stick to a one-shot. 
> 
> This was difficult for me to write because Bucky is my bby, haha. I apologize if he was a little OOC.

The beach is only a five minute walk from the cottage Tony lent her. Y/N decides to go take a stroll, despite the fact that it was only fifteen minutes shy of six in the morning. She's been twisting and turning in bed for several hours and the longer she lays in the dim room, the more restless she feels. Y/N sits up, almost toppling back into the sheets; she forgets how soft the bed is.

With a hand propping herself up, she scoots to the edge of the mattress and ties her hair back into a messy bun before hopping onto the wooden floor. She slips on a pair of battered black Converse and picks up her discarded hoodie from the ground, where she had tossed it when she first walked into the room, and slips it on before leaving the cottage. She doesn't lock the door; it's nearing the beginning of October and cottage season has been long over. Besides, it isn't like she had brought anything with her.

She makes a beeline for the sea, following the scent of salty ocean air and the sound of waves. The chilly breeze of the sea caresses her face, cold hands leaving her cheeks flushed, but it doesn't bother her in the least. She continues down the path of the beach, which is exactly 2.35 miles long. She googled it.

She shoves her hands in the front pocket of her navy blue hoodie. Her shoes leave a trail of footprints behind in the sand, only to be washed away by the gentle waves. They lap at her shoes as well and she can feel the vague wetness of water seeping through the fabric. However, it isn't enough to distract her; her thoughts are already beginning to form, following her like a cloud of darkness. She swears if she looks up, she'll see a black cloud trailing her.

She massages her right temple with two fingers. She didn't want to think about her fight with Bucky last night, but it was the only thing on her mind. A flash of anger consumes her.

Wasn't a party supposed to be a celebratory event? With Bucky, of course not. Another man gets too close while dancing, his hand moves to the low of her back...

 _"It was a completely innocent dance. Why do you always have to do this?" She's speaking in low, angry tones, closing the door of their bedroom behind herself. The party had abruptly ended just a few minutes earlier and it wasn't a surprise_ why _it ended._

_Bucky's glaring daggers at her from across the room, disbelief flashing in his eyes. His jaw is set, but when he speaks, a muscle jumps. "And why don't you understand that he was ready to screw you on the couch?"_

_"You have no proof of that. Even if it was true, he didn't make any moves on me; is your assumption really an excuse to knock him out?" Her hands are clenched in fists and suddenly, the room feels stuffy and enclosed. Her cheeks are flushed and the back of her neck prickles with heat. He's done this before, claiming the same reason:_ They were getting too close, Y/N. _"Just because your jealousy gets the best of you doesn't mean you can go around hitting people."_

 _"You know what? Fine. Fucking_  fine. _Next time some guy has his hands all over your ass, I'll let_ you _deal with it. I'm_  so _sorry I got in your way. Obviously you want to get laid by someone other than me." The sarcasm in his voice is thick enough to slice through with a knife._

 _"I don't understand what's wrong." She shakes her head furiously, her hair falling out of its ponytail to frame her face. She pushes it back in annoyance. "We've been together for over three years. We're getting married in five months. Why do you still have this need to be so overprotective? So suspicious? Bucky, I'm yours. I've always been yours. I've never had the_ need _to go after someone else. You're my everything."_

_He doesn't answer. They've had this same argument numerous times within these three months in which they've been engaged. Six fights to be exact. This would make it their seventh. Y/N knows he won't respond. To her disappointment, she's right; Bucky rubs his jaw with a hand, stares at the ground without looking at her once._

_"Look, I need to go." She doesn't want to stay here. They've always made up in bed in the early hours of the morning, kissing and having make-up sex and cuddling while he whispers sweet nothings in her ear, but she isn't sure if it's worth it anymore. Every fight they have leaves her feeling drained and broken. She needs the feeling to sit in for a while, to see how it feels like for the long-term, because she knows this won't be the last time she's feeling it._

_Bucky looks up at this, though he's masked his emotions. She wonders if he's suspicious, then searches his eyes. They were unreadable. "Where are you going?"_

_"Away." She walks over to the closet, pulling out an old college sweater and black leggings, along with the first pair of shoes she could find. She turns her head, her gaze meeting his. She takes a breath. "I can't... I don't want to stay here tonight."_

_He winces, as if she had actually laid a blow across his face, averts his eyes. She can see the hurt before it's hidden away. "Go, then," he growls, his voice rough as he turns his back to her._

_She wonders if this is the end of everything. Was this the end of everything? Y/N slides off the simple engagement band, places it at the foot of the bed. It feels strange to not be wearing a ring. His left hand clenches into a fist— he knows what she's left behind. She looks at him, then slowly backs away and turns to leave the room, closing the door behind herself quietly._

_Tears were filling her eyes quickly as she realized what she had done. Her heart drops into her stomach. Oh, God, what_ was _she doing? She clasps a hand over her mouth, suppressing a sob that shakes her shoulders. What were they coming to? She still remembers the day he gave her that ring— it was the happiest day of her life. Now that she had taken it off, she was feeling a little weight lift off her shoulders._

_She's walking to the elevator quickly, rubbing her eyes, trying to pull herself together. She steps in and presses a button, leans her head back against the cool metal wall. It isn't long before she reaches the penthouse. As she had assumed, Tony was hanging around the mini bar, taking a swig of scotch as he speaks on the phone. He's still dressed in a nice tux, though his bow is askew and his hair is a mess, as if he's raked his fingers through it too many times. She can hear him talking about lawyers that may be needed for Bucky, if it should come to him getting charged with assault. When he sees Y/N, he waves her over. The seriousness in his face fades a little as he ends the call._

_"Problems with aluminum wrap?" Tony had taken to referring to Bucky's left arm as some kind of metal foil_ —"It's like how they wrap corn before throwing it on the grill."—  _given the nickname. He's trying to sound lighthearted, but his smile is a little too forced. "You don't look too happy, peanut," he adds when she doesn't respond._

_"I need to get out of the city, Tony," she finally says. She feels as if someone else is speaking, because how could she possibly be saying these words? She and Bucky were inseparable, weren't they? "Somewhere quiet. Isolated."_

_"Why not have a drink first? And maybe the makeup—" he gestures vaguely over his face "—get rid of some of that, maybe? Not saying you don't look good, but it's not doing much for you at the moment."_

_A faint, tired smile tugs at the corner of her mouth. Of course he'd be the one to point out that her make up has gone totally wrong. And of course his insult would be lighthearted enough to make her smile. "Thanks, Tony," she replies sarcastically, though she sobers. "Give me a sec. Where's your bathroom?"_

_"Hallway on your left, third door on the right." His phone glows and he's tapping away at it again. The worry on his face is evident this time and the lines drawn across his forehead make him look five years older._

_"It's about Bucky, isn't it? Are they charging him?" She's watching him intently, chewing at her bottom lip. When he doesn't respond, she presses further, "It is that bad?"_

_"No," he lies, looking up. His signature cocky smirk is already crossing his lips. He bluffs insanely well, this man. "Honestly, it hurts my soul that you underestimate me, Y/N. You would underestimate me, out of all people? I thought you'd be my peppy cheerleader."_

_"Go Tony." Her voice is soft. She looks at him sadly, then kisses his cheek. She owes him so much. He's saved her so many times. "I've never underestimated you. Thanks for everything."_

_He eyes her, nods once, giving in. "Don't worry, alright? I've got it covered. Go clean up and change, peanut."_

_Y/N follows his directions and steps in, closing the door. The bathroom is luxurious, as all the bathrooms at the Compound are, but the bright lights and the gleam of glossy white walls have her feeling a little sick. She strips off her party dress and shoes, a tight red number paired with black wedges, respectively, then looks into the mirror. She can't help but laugh. The sound is tinted with hysteria, as if she's on the brink of tears again._

_Tony had understated to spare her feelings, probably. As cliché as it sounded, mascara was running down her blotchy cheeks. She knew she should have gone with waterproof. Her eyes are red-rimmed and the eyeliner has smeared all over her left eye, from when she rubbed it. Lipstick is smudged around her mouth._

_She turns on the tap and splashes water over her face. She takes off as much make up as possible without using any make up remover. When she lifts her head, her flushed face looks back up at her. This would have to do for now._

_The rest is a blur, but she vaguely remembers getting dressed and downing a beer before Tony sends her off in a black mercedes, driven by one of the receptionists in the lobby. His last words were something along the lines of 'come back whenever you're ready.'_

She's picking up stones from the beach side, feeling the smoothness of the rocks, where the ocean had worn away the edges, before tossing them back into the roiling waves. The sky is beginning to light up and she watches the horizon. Her eyes are fixed on the the edge where the sea meets the sky; the colour is a blue-grey inbetween that reminds her of Bucky's stormy eyes. She feels an immediate pull of longing, deep within her heart.

She wonders what he's doing, whether or not he's awake yet. A faint smile touches her lips. No, not yet, unless he was needed for a mission. He liked his Saturdays spent in bed. It was a rare sight to see him out of bed earlier than two in the afternoon, which meant it was rare to see  _her_  out of bed earlier than two, as well.

No one would know she was gone, then, which was a good thing. Maybe if she decides to leave soon, she would make it before two and she could make up with Bucky. Then everything would be back to normal. Her smile fades.

But everything going back to normal meant that they would sweep it under the rug. Everyone would pretend that nothing happened. She and Bucky would pretend that nothing happened, that the screaming and shouting and accusations didn't change their relationship, when they both know it isn't true.

The thoughts hurt her head. One part of her wants to disappear and never come back while the other part longs for Bucky to come and hold her and soothe her agitating thoughts.

As if by some miracle, a large, familiar hand slips into her left one, lacing their fingers together, flesh to flesh. No gloves. He squeezes her hand lightly. She can feel a pair of eyes burning into her.

Y/N looks up at Bucky, meets his gaze. His eyes are more grey than blue at the moment, like the calm before a storm, and dark circles underline them. He looks weary, as if he hadn't slept either. He doesn't say anything, only pulls her closer, away from the water. Her shoes are sopping wet.

"How'd you know I was here?" She looks down, kicks over a small rock, though she doesn't let go of his hand. It's warm and rough with callouses and so,  _so_  familiar it pains her. She can even smell him; leather, a hint of cologne, and something vaguely masculine.

"Stark." His voice sounds like gravel, deep and grainy and serious, but there's a hint of hesitation. He had trouble lying to her, he always did; this was no different.

"Tony would never tell you." There's no accusation in her voice, but she sounds sorely disappointed. Tony and Bucky were on good terms, but he wouldn't give away her location when he knew she had no will to see Bucky. Her hand slips out of his slowly and she moves out of his way when he tries to wrap his arm around her. "You followed me here, didn't you?"

He doesn't say anything, keeps his gaze straight ahead. His face is unreadable. She hates it when he hides away his emotions.

"Why? Because you don't trust me?" Frustration bleeds into her voice.

He looks at her, a crease between his brows. "No. I wanted you to be safe. I wanted to know if you were leaving me for good." He runs a hand through his hair, his voice cracking. "I wanted to know if you were going to be okay."

It's her turn to fall silent. She kicks over another rock. Her feet are freezing and she can barely feel her toes. "Why do you think lying to me is okay?" she asks softly.

"I don't know." She hears the gears in his prosthetic arm whir, then glances over. He's clenching and unclenching it, something he does when he's struggling to confess something. Nervous. "I... I don't... want you to think I'm..."

"What? Emotional? Vulnerable? Caring?" She's asking him almost desperately now. He doesn't answer, shutting himself off. She isn't sure of what to say anymore. Was it always so difficult to communicate with him?  _Yes,_  a small voice in her mind echoes.

He takes a quiet breath, reaches out an arm and beckons to her. When she doesn't walk closer, he frowns slightly. "Please?"

It's that tiny word that draws her in. She nestles herself against his side, feels him wrap his arm around her, listens to him breathe in her scent as he buries his face in her hair. They've stopped walking. They're nearing the end of the beach. How long have they been walking for?

"I love you, doll. You know that, don't you?" His voice cracks again and he clears his throat. His lips are on her forehead. "I don't want you to think I'm weak. It's a trait installed in me... _" By HYDRA_. He hesitates, then continues in a low, insistent voice, "I'm trying to break out of it. I really am."

His other hand reaches out to brush her cheek. She doesn't miss the gentleness in his actions, nor the love in his eyes, but she moves out of his reach all the same. She isn't going to forgive him so quickly, not when she's feeling so unsure. "Let's... let's keep walking." Her eyes fall when she sees the hurt on his face.

"Fine." There's a tightness in his jaw that wasn't present before. His arm is still wrapped around her, though, just as gentle as before. He's always treated her like a delicate flower. They walk in silence. There's a tension between them that has never made itself known until now.

"I never wanted to hurt you," she says quietly, though she's wondering  _when_. She's hurt him so many times before by little actions and little words. She settles on last night. "I didn't mean to leave. Spur of the moment decision. You know how I am when I'm stressed," she adds honestly.

"I shouldn't be stressing you out," he replies, equally as quiet. "I'm sorry for what I said. I know... I know you wouldn't ever... leave me for someone else. I just... You're beautiful. It's hard to think you would be with me when there are so many other people you could be with. When I see you with someone your age, spinning you around, showing you off, making you smile..."

She relaxes slightly as the tension eases. "I get jealous, too, y'know. If it bothers you, I won't dance with anyone but you. But you can't go around punching people because you get angry."

"I know." He runs a hand over his face, sighing. "I'm trying, Y/N. For you, alright, doll?"

 _Not hard enough_. The voice in her mind is slightly bitter as it reminds her that this was the seventh incident. Would it get worse when they got married? All she says is, "I know."

The silence is more bearable this time. Still filled with unspoken words, but the tension is all but gone. It's almost companionable.

 _Almost_.

At the end of the beach is a small cliff, about two meters high. Waves crash against the rock. Bucky stops her, moving to stand in front of her, near the edge of the cliff. He pulls something out of the pocket of his sweatpants. It's the ring she took off last night. He drops onto one knee, holding it up. Sunlight streams through his hair, makes the ring gleam. "Will you still marry me, Y/N?"

She's pushing strands of hair out of her eyes. He's asking her at the end of walking a 2.35 mile beach. That should have been enough time to think, right? Her response is barely audible over the crash of the waves.

**Author's Note:**

> I will be coming out with more stuff soon (yes, multi chapter stuff! I'm writing it right now). :3
> 
> Please leave a kudos (if you liked it!)/comment? I'd love to hear your opinion. :*


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